Do It Myself Blog – Glenda Watson Hyatt

(Photo credit: John Evans)

A young millionairess is caught speeding at night with her headlights turned off and with a suspended driver’s license. According to the media, she does not know her license has been suspended because she doesn’t read her own mail and she doesn’t read everything she signs. She blames her manager for her predicament. This woman is physically capable, but is she independent?

A long list of abilities does not equate to independence. An individual with a severe disability, requiring assistance with daily tasks, can be more independent than a more capable individual. Independence is a state of mind rather than a state of physical ability.

Developing independence is a process, a journey, that begins at an early age; most notably, during the terrible twos with the stubborn word “NO!” Occasionally that journey is hampered or blocked for various reasons. Here are a few ways to revive that journey, regardless of capabilities, financial status or other situation.

1. Be responsible and take responsibility. Being accountable for your actions and owning up when you have made a mistake or a poor judgement are critical in declaring your independence.
2. Make your own decisions. Soliciting advice and insights from others may be helpful when facing a decision, but, in the end, it comes down to you. It’s your life, your decision.
3. Be willing to try. You may pleasantly surprise yourself (and others) with what you can do yourself.
4. Use capabilities to full potential. Not fully using what you do have may mean you are unnecessarily depending on others for something you could competently do yourself.
5. Communicate what you need. No man is an island…we all need to rely on others in some way. However, by communicating your needs and how you need them, rather than depending on others to guess or fumble along, you take further responsibility for yourself
6. Use resources appropriately. As mentioned in #5, we all need assistance from time to time, but utilize the assistance or resource for its intended purpose. Seeking legal advice from your manager or overextending your stay on your friend’s couch doesn’t foster self-reliance.

Are there other ways for developing one’s independence? Add your thoughts in a comment below.