Comments on: When Is Help Indeed Helpful? http://www.doitmyselfblog.com/2007/when-is-help-indeed-helpful/ Your Accessibility Conscience Thu, 02 Feb 2012 00:00:20 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Denise http://www.doitmyselfblog.com/2007/when-is-help-indeed-helpful/comment-page-1/#comment-7538 Denise Mon, 25 Jun 2007 18:46:41 +0000 http://www.doitmyselfblog.com/2007/when-is-help-indeed-helpful/#comment-7538 Just wanted to let you know that I found you through the Gack Ink Network and voted for you. Just wanted to let you know that I found you through the Gack Ink Network and voted for you.

]]> By: Jana http://www.doitmyselfblog.com/2007/when-is-help-indeed-helpful/comment-page-1/#comment-7155 Jana Fri, 22 Jun 2007 13:37:10 +0000 http://www.doitmyselfblog.com/2007/when-is-help-indeed-helpful/#comment-7155 I just wanted to say that as a new reader of your blog, I've learned so much! Personally, I always run into the extreme of always saying "I can do it ALL BY MYSELF" (I'm 4'11" and have "short woman complex" just a bit lol) to the point where people stop asking if I need help... even when I need it! To top it off... I'm to stubborn to ask! I just wanted to say that as a new reader of your blog, I’ve learned so much!

Personally, I always run into the extreme of always saying “I can do it ALL BY MYSELF” (I’m 4′11″ and have “short woman complex” just a bit lol) to the point where people stop asking if I need help… even when I need it! To top it off… I’m to stubborn to ask!

]]> By: Glenda http://www.doitmyselfblog.com/2007/when-is-help-indeed-helpful/comment-page-1/#comment-6308 Glenda Fri, 15 Jun 2007 19:57:40 +0000 http://www.doitmyselfblog.com/2007/when-is-help-indeed-helpful/#comment-6308 Great question, Debbie! I'm working on a response. Watch for a follow-up post. It might take me a bit, tho. I know who I would like to interview for the response, if she is available. Stay tuned! Thanks for your vote, Philip! Great question, Debbie! I’m working on a response. Watch for a follow-up post. It might take me a bit, tho. I know who I would like to interview for the response, if she is available. Stay tuned!

Thanks for your vote, Philip!

]]> By: Philip http://www.doitmyselfblog.com/2007/when-is-help-indeed-helpful/comment-page-1/#comment-6304 Philip Fri, 15 Jun 2007 18:40:01 +0000 http://www.doitmyselfblog.com/2007/when-is-help-indeed-helpful/#comment-6304 Great analogy! I've voted for you :-) Great analogy!

I’ve voted for you :-)

]]> By: Debbie Havusha http://www.doitmyselfblog.com/2007/when-is-help-indeed-helpful/comment-page-1/#comment-6207 Debbie Havusha Thu, 14 Jun 2007 16:40:15 +0000 http://www.doitmyselfblog.com/2007/when-is-help-indeed-helpful/#comment-6207 I think that we need to ask ourselves why do we want to help? We need to identify who really needs and could benefit from help. Then we need to ask the individual who we perceive needs help, if they want our kind of help. Our intuitive and respectful understanding will indicate our course of action. Now the bigger question is -How do we help others to understand this helper-helpee equation? Do you have any blog formulas Glenda? Respectfully yours, Debbie Havusha I think that we need to ask ourselves why do we want to help?
We need to identify who really needs and could benefit from help.
Then we need to ask the individual who we perceive needs help, if they want our kind of help.
Our intuitive and respectful understanding will indicate our course of action.
Now the bigger question is -How do we help others to understand this helper-helpee equation?
Do you have any blog formulas Glenda?
Respectfully yours,
Debbie Havusha

]]> By: Glenda http://www.doitmyselfblog.com/2007/when-is-help-indeed-helpful/comment-page-1/#comment-6110 Glenda Wed, 13 Jun 2007 18:07:38 +0000 http://www.doitmyselfblog.com/2007/when-is-help-indeed-helpful/#comment-6110 It definitely is a fine balancing act, Avril. Too much help can make us feel indebted, inferior. But if we continual refuse help, then who will be there when we truly need it? On the other hand, isn't it awesome that strangers and friends alike are willing to help for nothing in return? Renews one's faith in humankind. It definitely is a fine balancing act, Avril. Too much help can make us feel indebted, inferior. But if we continual refuse help, then who will be there when we truly need it? On the other hand, isn’t it awesome that strangers and friends alike are willing to help for nothing in return? Renews one’s faith in humankind.

]]> By: Avril http://www.doitmyselfblog.com/2007/when-is-help-indeed-helpful/comment-page-1/#comment-6094 Avril Wed, 13 Jun 2007 14:55:27 +0000 http://www.doitmyselfblog.com/2007/when-is-help-indeed-helpful/#comment-6094 It's interesting, this balance that's needed between giving and receiving (whether that be help or gifts or money or compliments or whatever). We all want to feel helpful and generous, but we forget that when we go overboard, we risk making the other person feel small and helpless. I've had a few struggles with money over time, and during the lean periods, some of my friends were generous to a fault, insisting on paying for everything and refusing to allow me the pleasure of treating them sometimes – and it IS a pleasure! I had to explain to them that by refusing to allow me to reciprocate, they were not doing me a favour. On the contrary, they were setting up a power imbalance where I felt obligated to them – and humiliated at the thought that they saw me as "poor" (which I certainly didn't feel myself to be!) So keep reminding us, Glenda! It’s interesting, this balance that’s needed between giving and receiving (whether that be help or gifts or money or compliments or whatever). We all want to feel helpful and generous, but we forget that when we go overboard, we risk making the other person feel small and helpless.

I’ve had a few struggles with money over time, and during the lean periods, some of my friends were generous to a fault, insisting on paying for everything and refusing to allow me the pleasure of treating them sometimes – and it IS a pleasure! I had to explain to them that by refusing to allow me to reciprocate, they were not doing me a favour. On the contrary, they were setting up a power imbalance where I felt obligated to them – and humiliated at the thought that they saw me as “poor” (which I certainly didn’t feel myself to be!)

So keep reminding us, Glenda!

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