I am rethinking what I’ve been saying for years about don’t make assumptions, don’t pass judgments. As Al says, those judgments fill in the gaps, until we know more. I’m now thinking that the key is what we do with those those assumptions and judgments. Do we act upon them as fact or do we dig deeper to fill in that gap will more details, more accurate information.

The apparently frail woman has taught me an important lesson. And, for that, I wish I could thank her.

This was a very thought-provoking article. I think that it’s indeed human nature to try and fill the gaps of knowledge in our minds whenever we encounter them.

For example, we thought for the longest time that the sun revolved around the earth. We didn’t observe enough to make that proper conclusion, but based on what we could see without telescopes, it seemed reasonable. We needed Copernicus to bring to light some more observations to make us change our minds.

Same with the experience you had with the Asian woman. It’s human nature to fill our gaps of knowledge when we encounter them.

However, you also use the word “judge”. I think that’s key. It’s one thing to make assumptions and I argue that’s human nature. I think that we also bear the responsibility of recognizing when this happens and to make sure we properly take into account what are unverified assumptions when we do make judgments.

Just wanted to reiterate how nice that I went through Liz’s list to find your blog. Keep up the great writing!

The trick is to revise your first impressions when proven wrong.

I think you’re probably right, we do make judgements all the time even if they’re just flickering away quietly in the background. Even in positive ways we might think someone’s smarter or more successful or prettier or thinner or ‘not like us’.

I guess the trick is not to act on that judgement, and to keep our minds open to other possibilities (including the possibility of being wrong)

Joanna