Comments on: When People Stare

By: Jacqui & Rylan

Jacqui & Rylan — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 03:52:04 +0000

Isn’t it wonderful though when you do catch someone staring and you can tell they are staring at your child with love and amazement?

Often when I see kids wondering why Rylan is wearing a helmet, I ask them if that is what they are wondering about and then I explain that it helps protect his head when he falls and then I tell them they can touch it if they want. They always do and then they see him smile because they are near and all is good. One little girl in his class gave him a Christmas card and she drew a picture of his helmet and said how much she liked it.

Of course there are the other times..grrrr.

Thank you Glenda for all that you do and for being a friend that I hope to meet someday.

Jacqui

By: Hannah

Hannah — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 02:16:04 +0000

I wrote an award winning speech about this exact topic. Glenda, would you like to read it?

By: Tracee Sioux

Tracee Sioux — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 18:07:46 +0000

I’m not a differently-abled person. I do want to say that I very much appreciate when differently-abled adults choose not to be offended by my children’s normal curiosity.

For instance when their grandfather takes off his prosthetic leg and invites the children to touch it - or an uncle welcomes the children in touching and looking at his hand that never properly formed in the womb.

Their lack of offense and their acceptance of children’s curiosity immediately normalizes starring and makes it just looking and learning. It makes it easier for me to explain that people are different and I don’t have to explain why this may or may not be a “horrible tragedy” in the person’s life, but that it is simply their reality. It also reduces my need to whisper so as not to offend.

People who are different are fascinating, especially to children.

I greatly appreciate Little People, Big World for the opportunity to educate my kids about how people become different and how we should treat those who are.

By: Vivienne Quek

Vivienne Quek — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:48:31 +0000

Sometimes I would walk up to the person, smiled and asked, “Hi, I noticed that you were looking at me. Have we met somewhere before. If he muttered “no and well away, I knew for sure I wasn’t the problem whatsoever.

By: Avril

Avril — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:52:33 +0000

Thanks, as always, Glenda, for a thoughtful and thought-provoking post. I think you hit the nail on the head with your suggestion to look people in the eye and smile when you catch them staring. It’s a gentle way to call them out and, at the same time, to make a connection that breaks through the shell. And who knows what wonders that can lead to?

(Of course, that hasn’t stopped me from being mischievous when people have stared at me! I remember once, many years ago, a guy staring at me across the counter in my local White Spot. I calmly caught his eye, crossed both my eyes and stuck out my tongue. He nearly choked on his soup!)

By: Chris Brogan...

Chris Brogan... — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:32:14 +0000

When I was in Boy Scouts, I was a patrol leader. I had the “special” patrol, which had two boys with Downs, and two that had other mental disabilities. Boy, did WE get some stares. Further, people were always looking me over to figure out what MY disability was, which was interesting to me.

I’m pretty decent at not staring, but have once been accused of the opposite. “Are you avoiding looking at me?” It was very embarrassing, partly because I think I *was* avoiding looking at her (she had some really severe burn scarring), and partly because I didn’t realize the impact of not-staring meant that I wasn’t giving her a “you are alive” ping.

So this was a great post.

By: Karen Putz / DeafMom

Karen Putz / DeafMom — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 12:09:43 +0000

My family has handled their share of stares over the years. From the time my kids were young, they’ve had swirls of color in their earmolds. I remember the first time my oldest son asked for clear earmolds–he was in sixth grade. He didn’t want to handle the stares at that age, he wanted to blend in.
Of course, when we sign, we often feel the stares of people too. I’ve gotten so used to it over the years that I don’t even notice much anymore.

By: Joanna Young

Joanna Young — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 07:32:00 +0000

Thanks for sharing this Glenda. Your words have really made me think this morning.

Joanna