Do It Myself Blog – Glenda Watson Hyatt

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Finding Joy Again After Losing My Faith

Filed under: Motivation — by Glenda at 12:26 am on Thursday, July 18, 2013

Glenda cuddling with Faith

Eight weeks ago Wednesday afternoon, my constant companion and friend for seventeen years, Faith, was gently removed from my lap. Since then, many, many tears have fallen.

Did you know that the chemical makeup of tears of sorrow or grief is quite different from tears of happiness or relief? And, that crying is as healthy for you physically as it is emotionally?

In her article The Health Benefits of Tears, Judith Orloff, M.D., shares “tears are a sign of courage, strength, and authenticity." Strangely, I don’t really feel courageous and brave with all of these tears streaming down my cheek. I actually feel the opposite: weak. vulnerable.

But I do love this bit:

Crying is also essential to resolve grief, when waves of tears periodically come over us after we experience a loss. Tears help us process the loss so we can keep living with open hearts. Otherwise, we are set up for depression if we suppress these potent feelings. When a friend apologized for curling up in the fatal position on my floor, weeping, depressed over a failing romance, I told her, “Your tears blessed my floor. There is nothing to apologize for.”

I find these words to be a relief and, actually, refreshing. Like, perhaps, I haven’t been in the wrong for being “too sensitive” all of my life.

Faith asleep on my desk

One reason for these tears is the loss of the pure joy that Faith freely gave to me all of these years.

  • Her purring. What sound creates more pure joy than a kitty’s purr?
  • Her presence. She was never too far away.
  • Her closeness. Curling up in bed to read with her right beside me.
  • Her kitty kisses. Too early in the morning.
  • Her warmth and softness. Nap times on the couch.
  • Her beauty. And her captivating big green eyes.

Since May 22nd, I haven’t felt like curling up with a book. The last book I read was Rod Stewart’s autobiography back in April with Faith purring beside me; I thoroughly enjoyed that time together. I haven’t even sat on the couch since Faith was taken from my arms. Napping there would not be the same now. I desperately miss her joyous purr and regret that I didn’t record it and didn’t take more videos of her. (I thought I would have more time with her to do that.)

Those moments of joy can not be replaced. I hope, eventually, those memories will bring a smile rather than tears.

Purple petunias with white edgesFor now, I am trying to find joy elsewhere:

  • Taking time to appreciate the flowers on my deck and how the purple petunias with white edges remind me of the colourful frilly skirts worn by square dancers.
  • Going on photo wheels with Darrell.
  • Listening to Rod Stewart’s newest CD. He is still my fav, even after reading his autobiography.
  • Spending time talking with my loving and extremely patient Darrell over an iced mocha.

I am sure the list will slowly grow with time.

What brings you joy? How do you find joy again after such a loss? Please feel free to share in the comments below.

If you enjoyed this post, consider buying me a cafe mocha. Thanks kindly.

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7 Comments »

Comment by Wendy McClelland

July 18, 2013 @ 9:38 am

Glenda – thank you for sharing your continuing story about your journey after losing your friend. When I went through my divorce (and used to see him around town with his new girlfriend – ouch big time!) I would go to visit a friend who owned a doggy daycare. I would sit on the floor in the middle of 4-8 dogs and just be. They would snuggle, play and love me. It was a magical healing.

Comment by Michelle

July 18, 2013 @ 9:42 am

Glenda, you have so much love in your heart. When you’re ready you’ll find another kitty that needs your love. Over time the pain of losing Faith will lessen and you’ll be able to smile remembering her specialness.

Comment by Karen

July 18, 2013 @ 10:42 am

Hi Glenda,
I don’t know what I would do without my Angel. She is a 7 year old Blue Point Siamese.
I have had many cats in my life. But this one is like a baby. When I am sleeping, she stays on either side of my right hand so that I can love on her, and at 3 in the morning she must snuggle underneath the covers and sleep on my chest with my right arm around her. If that’s not love…

When my first kitty died when I was a small child, my Mama went out and immediately got another one>:)))))))

It did not take the place of the fist cat, but we had another one to love on within 24 hours… It did sooth some of the hurt and pain of loving so unconditionally.

Comment by Lenore

July 18, 2013 @ 8:45 pm

Hello,
I feel for you..I lost my dog who I had 15 years and he was to me, like you describe your Darling Faith. Well, think of her name and have faith that you shall find your way to faith like joy again. I spent time facing my loss by visiting pet stores, websites where I tried to connect to a pet that may need me! I found that being needed removed the guilt I had in thinking that I was replacing my much loved dog…A few interesting things happened that made me feel good…An older dog got bought because of me..I spent time with it in the store and a woman came in and saw me playing with him and she decided to buy him. He thought the pet store was his home so he was standoffish to others which prevented people from buying him but I had the “time” and he rolled over for me and even the pet store owners were shocked but happy, then a lady walked in…this gave me joy…..I spent time with other pets to face my grief and saw that they loved me too and I felt that my dog that passed was helping me find my “faith” to love again. I ended up finding a darling female dog, same breed, similar color- but different…I still loved my male dog and he will forever be #1 in my heart but I love my female dog equally but different and that is ok with me….joy was found again.

Comment by Sadia

July 24, 2013 @ 7:41 am

I am so sorry for your loss. I recently lost my beloved cat, Penelope, and didn’t have a chance to say goodbye. We’ve since grown our family to a total of 3 cats, and they bring us such joy, although nothing fills the hole in my heart that Penelope left.

Perhaps I should let myself cry; I’ve been trying to be strong for my daughters.

Comment by Aleta

July 28, 2013 @ 1:24 pm

I’m so sorry for your loss. I had to find new homes for my two cats when I made an international move in the last year, and it was one of the most difficult things I’ve had to do in my lifetime. My cats had only lived with me for 4 years; I can only imagine how strong your bond was with Faith.

Have you come across the Dove Lewis Pet Loss Blog yet? If not, I thought you might find it helpful as you grieve.

Hugs,

Aleta

Comment by Lorelle

August 11, 2013 @ 3:37 pm

Oh, honey. Just saw the news. So sorry.

I still bear her scar and now it is even more special, a tribute to someone who could have her moments, as can we all, and be so protective and loving to her mommy.

Thoughts with you. Take the time you need to process. It’s a year since we lost one of our fuzzy children and the ache is still there. In time, the memories will become joy. Honor the moments.

Hugs to both of you!

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